What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Sure no problem officer.

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Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

After a few moments he returns.

Yes sir it is.

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I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Why are we explaining today’s “climate change” as driven by human related “green house” gasses when natural “global warming” pushed sea level up to the “shores” of Topeka with no human contribution or even presence? Is Occam’s Rasor applied?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Is marijuana bad for you?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

{RING} {RING}

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

When was the first time you felt discriminated against because you were female?

HELLO

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.